In this innovative, technological age where people can reach you by email, cell, social media, and “snail mail”, you have those people whose name immediately garnishes a positive reaction. A smile comes to your face, an internal jump for joy erupts, or a wonderful memory of them races through your mind when you see their name anywhere at any time.
Well, something of the sort happened to me earlier this month. I finally downloaded the LinkedIn app to my new Samsung Galaxy 4 (which is a big thing because until about 60 days ago, I was not an “app” person), and lo and behold, there it was….a message from Beverly D. Flaxington, the Human Behavior Coach.
As soon as I saw her name paired with her charismatic photo, I immediately tapped on the screen to view her message. To my delight, Beverly was asking whether I knew anyone who might benefit from her new book, Self-talk for a Calmer You, and I instantly responded, “YES!”
Call me self-serving, but I knew that the person who could benefit from a book about self-talk was me. And, I also knew that if Beverly Flaxington was writing about it, it would be a mindset-changer.
So, I did what any other book-loving, truth-seeking, ever-morphing, student of life would do. I let Beverly know that I desperately wanted to read the book and of course, I would want to talk to her about it live on Books That Transform. Thankfully, she agreed to send me a copy and promised to entertain my questions on the show. (Yaaay!!!)
Well, a couple of weeks ago, the book arrived and let me tell you, my heart fluttered, the butterflies in my stomach did somersaults, and my voice giggled with glee as I tore open the box.
(Think: Christmas morning, a five-year-old little girl, ripping open that gargantuan present that has been sitting under the tree for weeks, calling her name, while posing as that Barbie dollhouse she has been wanting since forever…and you will get the picture.)
I don’t know how to explain this, but when I saw the cover, read the title and subtitle (Learn how to use positive self-talk to control anxiety and live a happier, more relaxed life), I just knew that Beverly was going to do a work on me. In fact, I can get a little deeper. I knew that this entire situation had been orchestrated by God.
Now, that may sound “spooky deep”, but it is the truth. This is the area of my life that causes me tremendous turmoil more often than not. And, I am sure if you are still reading this post, it may be a hindrance for you, too. How I perceive “a thing” and how I talk to myself about it can powerfully upset my equilibrium and cause me to ponder over it for days, months, and even years. As you can imagine, being in that state of mind is counterproductive and eventually begins to eat away at my peace.
But, I digress….
On the very first page, Beverly sucked me right in. (Oooo, she is such a good writer.) She explained that self-talk at its most basic level is the way you talk to yourself. “It’s a kind of internal monologue, a stream of consciousness.” And then, she said something that I knew, but needed to hear again and really wanted to share here with you:
“You may have heard stories about people overcoming impossible odds to succeed, or about those who rise above their challenges. What they say to themselves, how they interpret the events, what they choose to use as their self-talk is often at the root of their ability to rise and succeed. What makes the difference between those people who seem to overcome the obstacles and make things happen, versus those that get stuck and can’t seem to find the way out of their anxious thoughts and feelings? Often it is their self-talk. It’s the things people say to themselves to get them through or give them new energy or help them problem solve.” ~ Beverly D. Flaxington, author of Self-Talk for a Calmer You, p. 10
You see, I believe that the major roadblock that entrepreneurs have, and particularly, employed entrepreneurs have, is not from anything outside of us; but, it is the nature and quality of our self-talk. We either do not know what to say to ourselves or we know what to say, but we just don’t believe it. As a result, we stall….we start or stop…or even worse, we never even go for it.
Beverly explains it best: We use anxiety as a coping mechanism to protect ourselves from negative experiences because being confident and feeling good leads to failure.
And, who wants to fail?
Now, this kind of thinking can come from many sources—a traumatic childhood, disappointments or setbacks, hurtful experiences, or troubling situations that we have witnessed. I also believe it can come from being taught or programmed in error or never fully comprehending how much we are valued and loved by God. Or, perhaps it comes from not knowing at the core of our being that HE has a divine purpose for our lives in which we get to participate.
Whatever the cause, the good news is that there is a cure!
Yes, there is a balm in Gilead. There is a process that we can go through to retrain our thinking patterns and thus our quality of self-talk. We have the power and the authority to control our thoughts and put them under subjection.
Isn’t that great news?
Remember that the Word says this:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 NIV
I am sooooo grateful that God has placed someone like Beverly D. Flaxington in the earth to show us how to “do the work.”
As I close, I want to invite you to purchase a copy of Beverly’s new book. Together, let’s go on this journey of learning how to consistently and faithfully speak positively to ourselves, no matter the circumstance or situation.
As I read, learn, and grow, I will be sharing my thoughts here and I would love for you to share yours as well.
Be Inspired to Change Your Mindset & Transform Your Life!
Listen to these shows on Books That Transform:
- Committing to Understanding Other People with Beverly D. Flaxington
- The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women with Dr. Valerie Young
- How Smart Women Ask For and Stand Up for What They Want with Selena Resvani
- The Faster and Easier Way to Achieve Wealth with Sherrin Ross Ingram
- Keys to Getting Unstuck in the New Year with Remy Chausse