Do you find yourself getting disturbed or taken aback by the troubling experiences that you go through?

Do you find that your peace is easily shaken or disturbed?

If so, please read this post in its entirety.

A Life-Changing Experience

Just last March, March of 2012, I was sitting at my desk working on the computer and my chest began to tighten. My fingers felt numb and I had sharp pains at the base of my neck and into my shoulders. Then, I started feeling like my breathing was off. I guess you could call it shortness of breath.

My daughter, who was just five years old, was out of school and she was in her bedroom watching one of her favorite movies. I didn’t want to alarm her, so I went on the internet and I typed symptoms of a heart attack.

I started reading the symptoms and my mind said, “You are getting ready to have a heart attack.” So, I called one of my dearest and closest friends who had been experiencing issues with hypertension so I knew she knew all about heart attacks.

She stayed on the phone with me for almost an hour and ruled out the fact that I was about to have one. She told me to go to get my pressure checked at a Harris Teeter grocery store or a CVS Pharmacy because perhaps my pressure had escalated for some reason.

I went and according to the instrument there, let’s just say I should not be here.

So, I thought, that can’t be right. My mother then told me to go to an Urgent Care but by that time all of the Urgent Cares had closed. My mother then advised me to  take an aspirin,  try to get some rest, and go to the Urgent Care right after I dropped off my daughter at school.

That night, I did not get much rest.

I kept thinking crazy thoughts about my health, about my life,  and about the safety of my daughter. I certainly was not ready to leave here (the Earth) and have someone else raise her, so I needed to find out exactly what was going on in my body to cause these kinds of symptoms and do whatever it took to make sure I didn’t experience them, again.

The next morning, I took Zoe to school and rushed to Urgent Care.

After being checked out and x-rayed, the doctor informed me that my blood pressure was high for the first time in my life and that what I had described was an anxiety or panic attack. 

He told me that people who experience these feel like they are having a heart attack. He also informed me that the x-ray revealed that my neck was too straight.  (I didn’t even know there was such a thing.)

As he showed me the x-rays, he informed me that my neck should have a little curvature to it, but mine did not. It was completely straight. The straight neck was the cause of the pain in my shoulders and the numbness in my fingers.

Seek and You Shall Find

After that experience, I began to seek God about the state of my life.

Why would I, a child of God, get to a place where I would have an anxiety attack? Why would I get to a place where my mindset was not on taking care of my body? What in the world was going on with me?

I realized that I had not been studying the Word as I should but I had been substituting tele-evangelism for my daily dose of the Word. So, I made a decision to devote time to my own time with God.

Now, I am the kind of person who would rather study a particular topic or issue that I would like to learn more about or even one that is bothering me, as opposed to just reading chapter after chapter, book after book.

And, God, knowing His child, laid it in my heart to study PEACE. And as I studied, He revealed to me three elements, three components, three keys to possessing my peace so that no matter what goes on in my life, I can walk victoriously, confidently, without angst.

It is not a magic pill, quick fix or a microwavable potion, but it is a process that you and I can use no matter what we face. Because guess what?

You deserve to walk in peace.

Yes!!! You are a child of the God of Peace….so nothing “in” or “of” this world should sabotage the peace that your Heavenly Father has given you through the power of His Holy Spirit. (I Thessalonians 5:23, Galatians 5:22)

The three keys that God gave to me will come in handy in your life, time and time again. I promise you that. The more you use them, the better you will get at using them.

Sharing the 3 Keys to Possessing Your Peace on Not Just Talk Radio

On March 25th, I was a guest on Shamara Cox’s Not Just Talk Radio Show and I spoke on this topic: 3 Keys to Possessing Your Peace: Rising Above the Drama to Walk In Your Divine Personal Brand.  Shamara and I had a ball and it seemed to be a popular topic with the listeners as the questions came flooding in–so much so, that we didn’t get a chance to answer them all.

Listen Now

1. Get your Bible out and turn to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. The three keys are found there.
2. Listen now and be blessed!
3. Share the show with others who need a systematic formula for walking in peace.
4. Don’t just read and listen. Leave a comment below.  

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3 NIV

I was the valedictorian of the Class of ’89 at Cresset Christian Academy in Durham, N.C.

Although, I had always loved school and did my very best since kindergarten; I’d worked extremely hard to “prove” myself once my mom enrolled me in a Christian school my eighth grade year. I was the only student of color in my class, so I felt this insurmountable pressure to show my classmates that I was just as smart as or even smarter than they were. I never imagined that my hard work would position me to have the highest GPA. It never even crossed my mind.

So, when I found out that I was valedictorian, I was so shocked. You might say I was flabbergasted.

Well, you may have thought that I would have gone on to some Ivy League College or at least gone to one of the larger more competitive public universities in North Carolina or some other state.

You may have thought that I would have pursued a career that would have paid me six figures, easily, in the mid ’90′s like law, accounting, computer technology, marketing and advertising, or even medicine; but, I didn’t.

In fact, when it came time for me to choose a career and an institution of higher learning, I settled.

I settled because I did not go to the college that I really wanted to go to and I did not choose the career path that I really wanted to choose. I chose to play it  safe in both regards. I chose to go to a very small HBCU (historically Black College or University) in North Carolina and I chose to major in elementary education.

SAFE. SAFE. SAFE.

I now know that what fueled my logic, what fed my sense of inadequacy, even though my entire scholastic record said I was highly capable,  is something called the Impostor Syndrome. It is the reason I literally talked myself out of taking risks and really pushing myself after high school.

But, don’t cry for me.

Even though I  may have short-changed myself to some degree, this post is not about obsessing over the past. It is about acknowledging a mindset that is very prevalent in successful people–particularly women.

The Impostor Syndrome is a very real phenomenon that successful women, professional women, and women who are climbing the-bring-home-the-bacon-fry-it-up-in-a-pan-I-am-every-woman-ladder struggle with in spite of their abilities, education, salaries, and accolades.

This post is about resetting our minds so that we do not allow this syndrome to overtake us and keep us from joyfully fulfilling our divine purpose.

Assess Yourself

Do you suffer from listening to the “private voices of self-doubt” even though you are an accomplished leader in your field? 

Have you obtained the education, accolades, awards, and salary of  an expert in your industry but yet you struggle with believing that you really deserve any of it?

Do people consider you a role model or look to you for great counsel and advice; yet, inside you are still asking yourself questions like “What if they find out I’m not as smart as they think I am? or “Can I really pull this off?”

If so, you may be suffering from the hidden fears and insecurities that millions of successful people struggle with known as the Impostor Syndrome and it is time that you are SET FREE.

Interview with Dr. Valerie  Young 

On Friday, March 29th, I had a wonderful discussion about this subject with Dr. Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How To Thrive In Spite of It. She shared strategies that will help you transform your thinking so that you can “reach new heights” and “positively thrive.”

Dr. Young is an accomplished speaker and her career-related tips have been cited in publications around the world including The Wall Street Journal, USA Weekend, More magazine, Woman’s Day, Redbook, Psychology Today, The Chicago Tribune, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Daily Mail, The Irish Independent, and Entrepreneur to name a few. You can learn more about her at www.impostorsyndrome.com.

Listen Now

Thoughts From You

• What Do You Think About This Phenomenon?
• Have you experienced it or do you know someone who has? Please share your thoughts below. I love to hear from you!

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Do you know exactly who you have been called to serve?

I mean, if I were to ask you to list all of the characteristics of your ideal client, would that be easy for you to do?

And if you can do that, do you know how to position yourself  as the authority in your field so that when your ideal client is looking for a solution to the problem that you solve, you are their ultimate problem solver—without reservation?

Well, yesterday’s show is entitled How to Dominate Your Niche and I was blessed to have Ms. Stephanie Chandler, author of Own Your Niche, on Books That Transform for 47 minutes.

Stephanie shared some of the incredible, results-oriented tips and strategies in her book that focus on choosing the right audience, demonstrating authority in  your field, showcasing your unique skills, and bringing value to your audience.She talked about building loyalty, community, and brand recognition, giving more than receiving, and about growing your business.

All About Stephanie Chandler

Stephanie Chandler is an author of several books including Own Your Niche: Hype-Free Internet Marketing Tactics to Establish Authority in Your Field and Promote Your Service-Based Business, From Entrepreneur to Infopreneur: Make Money with Books, eBooks and Information Products, and LEAP! 101 Ways to Grow Your Business.

Stephanie is also founder and CEO of BusinessInfoGuide.com, a directory of resources for entrepreneurs, and Authority Publishing, a custom publisher specializing in non-fiction books. A frequent speaker at business events and on the radio, she has been featured in Entrepreneur magazine, BusinessWeek, and Wired magazine, and she is a contributing blogger for Forbes. To learn more about her, visit stephaniechandler.com.

Listen Now

Share Your Thoughts & Spread the Word

Wasn’t that some great, applicable content? I had so much fun talking to Stephanie, but more than that, I know that the information that she gave in that short amount of time is really simple, powerful, and effective.

Share your thoughts on the interview and go tell a friend (who wants to sustain a relevant, profitable business enterprise but needs a little direction on how to increase visibility and loyalty with the right audience) all about it.

Subscribe to Books That Transform

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• Next show: Friday, March 29th at 12:00 p.m. (EST), The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women with Dr. Valerie Young author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Imposter Syndrome & How To Thrive In Spite of It

Questions I Asked Stephanie

Stephanie, since your book is entitled Own Your Niche and the show is entitled How to Dominate Your Niche, I’d love for you to “educate” us on a couple of things—

• What is a niche?

• How does a small business entrepreneur or solopreneur choose a profitable niche by which he or she can dominate?

Now, that you have defined niche for us and we have a clearer understanding on how to select a profitable one, how then do we establish or niche identity and why is that so important?

Stephanie, on today’s show, I promised the listeners that they would learn online and offline methods that would get them the kind of exposure that will establish them as leaders in their industries. I am counting on you to be our tour guide on this journey. So, let’s divide our discussion into two parts—online strategies/tactics and offline strategies. Is that okay with you?

 Great! Well, let’s start with online tactics first.

 One of the things that made me want to really get into your book was when you began by addressing some of the unethical behaviors that are going on online these days. Stephanie, explain to us the difference between the kind of marketing tactics that most of us are bombarded with today and the kind of marketing that you advocate?

Stephanie, I’d like to share a website with you and the audience and that is www.guzymusic.com. It is the website of a music producer in the Greensboro area where I live named Luguzy Atkins. Now, Luguzy just created his website this year and he is open to any advice you might give him. So, let’s use his site as our model for this portion of the show.

Share with us specific online strategies that he could implement that would—

• Establish his authority as a producer

• Build his audience & engage his community

• Turn his website into a “client conversion machine”

• Increase his website traffic

 In chapter six which is entitled Blogs Rule, you say that “A blog is hands-down one of the most important elements of a successful website.” What are entrepreneurs who do not consistently blog missing out on?

 While we are in this vein, let’s talk about content marketing. If you were starting your business from scratch in 2013 what would be the top two types of content marketing you would implement consistently to establish yourself as an authority in your industry and why?

 Stephanie, I love the fact that you devote an entire chapter to internet revenue streams—multiple streams of income. Give us an example of a client or an entrepreneur in your book who has mastered the art of creating multiple streams of income online.

 Stephanie, now it is time for us to delve into becoming a rock star offline. Professional Speaking is the first offline method that you address. What would you say to the person who 1) does not know exactly how to create interesting speaking topics, 2) needs pointers on how to actually get on the speaking circuit?

 Another method that you address is event promotion. Betty Brand Specialist is only interested in hosting paid events. What are the pros and cons of having this kind of perspective?

 Stephanie, there is no way we could touch on all of the offline strategies that you cover in your book, but if I gave you an apple pie and I asked you to divide it into pieces that represent the fresh new marketing plan of a start-up or start over entrepreneur, how many would go to online strategies and how many would go to offline strategies?

In 2010, women comprised 47% of the U.S. Labor Force.

Today, it is said that figure has tipped over the 50% mark.

Even with so many women at work, it appears that we have yet to obtain the positions of authority in our work or business environments. According to Selena Rezvani, women’s leadership author of Pushback: How Smart Women Ask For and Stand Up For What They Want:

Despite some of our gains, women continue to make up a meager portion of senior leaders in government, business, and even those fields that are female dominated. Our low presence in top decision-making roles diminishes our contributions, gives us little say in corporate and societal directions, and reduces us to mere observers.

Hmmm…..Ladies.

I say, it is time for change. It is time for us to do what COO of Facebook Sheryl Sandberg advises--Go Get It!

The only way for us to go get it is to ask for it. In other words, we must first change our mindset about what we deserve and then hone our negotiating and self-advocacy skills.

To get a better understanding of the negotiating process, I called upon women’s leadership author, speaker, and consultant, Selena Rezvani.

Who is Selena Rezvani?

Selena Rezvani’s goal is to propel more women into the top echelons of businesses — an objective she achieves through her writing, consulting, and speaking engagements. She is the co-owner of Women’s Roadmap, a consulting firm that elevates women into leadership through assessment, the design of gender-inclusive policies, and coaching. Outside of her consulting and coaching work, Selena promotes her message through training programs, teaching some of the brightest minds in business at eBay, Harvard, Accenture, Princeton, Duke, Johnson & Johnson, The Clinton Foundation, and many others. 

She has been quoted, interviewed, and profiled by The Today Show, CareerBuilder, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, ABC, and NBC. She is a regular commentator on NPR’s syndicated 51 Percent: The Women’s Perspective, blogs for Forbes.com and writes an award-winning column on women and leadership for The Washington Post. She is the author of the acclaimed career guidebooks PUSHBACK: How Smart Women Ask–and Stand Up–for What They Want (Jossey-Bass, 2012) and The Next Generation of Women Leaders: What You Need to Lead but Won’t Learn in Business School (Praeger, 2009).

Selena received her bachelor of science and master of social work degrees from New York University, and has an MBA from Johns Hopkins University, where she graduated first in her class. She lives near Philadelphia. For more information, visit: www.NextGenWomen.com or www.WomensRoadmap.com.

Listen to Our Discussion Now to Learn the Four-Step Model of Negotiation & The  Importance of Self-Advocacy by Women in the 21st Century Workforce

Questions I Asked Selena

1. Selena, one strategy that authors are given to help with crafting their message is to visualize that one person they are writing to. Describe for us the ideal reader you were thinking of when you wrote Pushback.

2. Selena, to some, the term Pushback may sound a little combative and therefore have a negative connotation. Give us your definition of pushback and share a few examples of some “pushback scenarios.”

3. I love the fact that you did your own research for this book by interviewing what you call “a new set of 20 women leaders in the top echelons of their fields.” As you analyzed your data, what was the most shocking thing that you learned from this experience?

4. Selena, it is apparent that women struggle with pushing back, even today when there are more of us who are educated, more of us in the work force, and more of us as even head of our households. What would you say are the top 3 reasons that women shy away from pushing back?

5. Selena, for older or more seasoned women who say, I am sorry, I am just not going to risk negotiating or advocating for myself given today’s climate, what would you say are the consequences of such a decision?

6. Selena, you say that “One of the best investments you’ll make in your career is spending time learning a reliable and effective system for negotiation. As you build your skills and learn the art of negotiating, you’ll begin to see it not just a one-time or occasional (and somehow mysterious) transaction but an everyday necessity.” So, in the book, you give us a four-step model of negotiation. Please take your time and breakdown those four steps for us.

7. You provide an assessment in the book that can help women pinpoint the areas of strength and identify their weaker areas. Give us an example of how a woman would use this information to become better at asking for and standing up for what she wants.

8. Selena, as I was reading your book, I immediately thought about Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook and how she states that women hold themselves back by lowering our expectations of what we can achieve. And, then, as I read on, lo and behold, you actually talk about the speech she gave in which she urged women to “go get it” rather than waiting for permission. Why is it so important for young women who are just entering the workplace to possess the pushback kind of mindset?

9. Selena, you have registered for my English 101 class, and your first assignment is to write a persuasive essay. This is your writing prompt: This is a great time to elect a qualified woman for the presidency of the United States because…..

Please share your thoughts about the interview below and if you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to Books That Tranform!

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• Next show: How to Dominate Your Niche with Stephanie Chandler, Tuesday, March 12th at 12:00 noon (EST).