Responsibility to Others Archives

  • Do you struggle on a regular basis with making sense of other people and their viewpoints? 

  • Are you finding that your day-to-day interactions turn out to be “difficult?

  • Do you find yourself being frustrated by the actions of others to the point where it controls your life?

 If so, it is imperative that you get your hands on Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior by Beverly Flaxington. In the introduction, Beverly states:

Poor communication is at the root of so many of our pains and problems, and our lack of knowledge about what to do can paralyze us.  

The great thing is that Beverly takes “decades of knowledge, observation, personal and professional experience and rolls it all into five essential secrets.” Her concise explanation of these secrets will open your mind to the possibilities of living life without experiencing the pain of poor communication.


The GREAT Talk on Books That Transform with Beverly Flaxington


Today, I had the wonderful privilege of talking to Beverly about The Five Secrets to Human Behavior. Here are the questions that I asked:

Bev, I look at the books you have written and the expanse of your career and I wonder what kinds of experiences did you have or observe that led you to discovering the five secrets to human behavior?


 Bev, in chapter one, you come out playing hard ball. You do not sugarcoat the very first secret at all. You say, “….each of us walks around all day long unconsciously repeating the same mantra, ‘It’s All About Me.’” Is this true of every single human being, and if so, should we consciously try to combat that thought or not?


 Secret #2 is Our Behavioral Styles Come between Us. How do we know what kind of behavior style we have and what should we do when we encounter someone with an “opposing” behavioral style?


 Bev, Secret #3, Your Values Speak Louder than You Do, made me think about so many things like 1) the recent political campaigns, 2) the sometimes hypocritical displays within religious organizations, and even 3) the conflicts that lead to the demise of marriages & friendships. If someone listening is struggling with how to live in a world where others’ values are different than theirs, what would you advise them to do?


One of the most revelatory concepts in this book for me was expressed by Secret Number Four, Don’t Assume I Know What You Mean. In the chapter you ask, “How many times have you said to yourself, or another person, ‘He/She just doesn’t understand me?’ Well, understand this—they can’t, unless you are willing to take the time to help them. Their filters are clogged with their experiences, background, thoughts, feelings, etc. And unless they’ve read this book and understand the Five Secrets, they can’t put all of what matters to them to the side and understand you and what you are trying to communicate.”


Now, Bev, personally, I think this concept is so deep that we should just stay here for a while and let you teach us step-by-step how to be effective communicators in this area.


 Bev, it is time for me to introduce you to Always Right Alma. Alma seems to believe that she is the best communicator in the world and that everyone else is the problem. She even has several t-shirts that say, “Don’t waste your brain cells, just follow my lead.” It is obvious that Alma needs to work with you on Secret #5, which is, “I’m okay. You are definitely NOT okay.” How will you help her change her mindset and transform her life?


 Bev, this has truly been an eye-opening experience.  If you share this much in just 40 minutes, I can imagine how beneficial working with you could be. What kind of person would you say that you enjoy working with the most?


 Please share the products, programs or services that you offer your clients?


 This Show Will Impact Your Life

Press play and see for yourself. :)

(I have listened to the show about four times, myself and probably more by the time you read this.) I know that you will get something from it. Listen and share your thoughts here or enjoy the archive on iTunes at

I would LOVE to hear from you!

Listen to internet radio with kelliegardner on Blog Talk Radio

I wish you could feel the rush that I get when I find a great book about one of my strongest passions—personal branding.  I go to Amazon and Barnes and Noble’s sites and search for specific topics. 

I sit there and click-open the books, reading the table of contents, taking a sneak preview of the pages, and then I add them to my shopping cart.

I know that if this book is really good; if this book helps me, I am going to contact the author to request an interview, or what I like to call an engaging conversation on Blog Talk Radio. I am confident that if it helped me, it will certainly be a blessing to other entrepreneurs who are seeking answers and solutions as I am.

You should see me when I go to my inbox and receive an acceptance to my interview request.

I usually yell, “Yes!” looking up to God with a big smile of appreciation on my face. Then, I read the email about three or four times. Finally, I respond and I just sit there in awe.

After I have my moment and let everything sink in, I am inspired to keep going through this process, again and again.

Let me tell you, there is nothing more exciting than dwelling in a place of expectancy and having it fulfilled.

That is how you should feel about the communication tools that you have chosen to establish your thought leadership in your niche.

It should be a win-win situation.

You should be doing something you love to do that will benefit your target market at the same time.

The key is to have a communication plan for your business that is a balance between those tools that are necessary for your brand to thrive and survive and those that you absolutely enjoy.

When you have a good communication mix, you will find yourself more fulfilled while expanding your reach.

It is also important that you have an open-mind because you may find that something you thought you would never do, or something you were apprehensive about, will become that thing that frees you, that develops you into the person God created you to be AND that expresses your brand to your target market in a compelling way that you never ever imagined.

Options for Communication Tools

So, let’s take a look at various ways that you can communicate your thought leadership, so that you can develop a communications plan that works:

(1) Speaking and Making Presentations

  • Public Speaking at conferences, Meet-Up Groups Meetings, association meetings
  • Webinars
  • Teleseminars & Telesummits
  • Video
  • Audio/Podcast
  • Workshop, Boot camp, Retreat
  • Coaching
  • Consulting
  • Guest expert on a local television or radio show

  (2) Writing

  • Blogging & Guest Blogging
  • Book publishing
  • Article Marketing
  • Writing book reviews for books in your niche
  • Becoming a columnist for an association newsletter
  • Publishing a white paper or free report
  • Creating a signature system or home study course
  • Publishing a how-to manual or guide

 (3) Being Creative

  • Creating programs, products, services, events


Tips on Choosing the Right Tools for You and Your Target Market

(1) Make a list of 4-5 pressing questions your ideal client might have about ________. (Put your area/topic of concentration in the blank.)

(2) Write out the answers to those pressing questions. Write them as specific strategies or steps that your ideal client can follow and get results.

(3) Consider how you might deliver these strategies to your ideal clients—ways that particularly excite you, may even take you OUT of your comfort zone—and ways that they might want to receive them. (Note: You want to deliver your message where they hang out.)

(4) Recycle your content in various ways so as not to totally overwhelm yourself. Let’s say you come up with a system for doing something. Here are the various ways you can share the same information over and over.

  • Blog post
  • Article
  • Video
  • Audio Series
  • Free Report
  • Workshop
  • Teleseminar

(5)  Realize that being repetitious is good for your brand. When you share your life-changing information with your target market in various ways, different people are touched by it at different times, in different places, in different ways.

(6) Always be yourself. Those who are drawn to you are drawn to you. Those who are not are not. Accept that. It is reality. Do not mimic others or copy who they are. You are one-of-a-kind. Have the courage to share your message, your ideas in the way only you can do.

Consistently Implement Your Communications Plan

After you choose the communication tools you will use, get out your calendar and determine which you will do weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annually.

Put dates on your calendar for communicating and stick to it. Consistency is how trust is built. Your lack of consistency conveys a lack of commitment to those you are called to serve. 

Remember, your personal brand is divine. It is bigger than you. It was implanted in you by God. He has called you to share who you are and what you have learned with others; so, stop being stingy, rebellious, and contrary. (Sorry, I have to speak the truth.)

Find a way to make communicating exciting for you and educate your target market at the same time.

Before You Go

  • Please share a comment. I love hearing from you. :-)
  • Share this post with those in your network who need it.
  • Find out the 10 Things Your Ideal Clients Need You To Do. Grab your PB Toolbox to learn the various branding channels you might choose to share your compelling message. Click here: I am ready to receive my PB Toolbox, now!!!

Being Transparent with Nancy D. Solomon

The Book Review

I often read personal development books with the hope of getting a revelation that will change my mindset, my way of being for the better. I guess that is the least I hoped for when I purchased Impact! What Every Woman Needs to Know to Go From Invisible to Invincible. Well, let me just say that I was not prepared for what actually happened to me, page after page, after page, after page.

When something is transparent, it is capable of transmitting light so that objects or images can be seen as if there were no intervening material.

Strangely,as I read each word, each phrase that Nancy so directly delivered, my many layers of complexity seemed to peel away until I was forced to see myself without any “intervening material.” I literally became transparent to the one person who really matters–ME.

It was as if she pulled me into some magnetic field right from the start with the “Message from the Author: Just Between You and Me.” Honestly, I think if she had only written this section and called it Impact, I would have been satisfied. 

Yes, that’s how good it is. Some kind of way, Nancy touched all of the hurtful, sensitive places and nailed my struggles dead-on. I actually thought we had possibly met somewhere, in a diner, in a forum, at Starbucks perhaps, and had a deep, personal conversation that I had somehow forgotten. How else would she be able to read me so effortlessly?

But, to my delight, that was just the beginning. The fact that the book is divided into five major sections that are then uniquely expressed in small essays is a surprising treat….essays, yes, essays. Nancy spoke to me about specific areas of my life as a woman in delicate yet straightforward essays. What an ingenious idea! As a result, I was able to breeze through book with a little more than 250 pages.

As a woman and brand new entrepreneur, I was so grateful for the unexpected gift I received from Impact. I walked away with an entirely new perspective on who I am and what I am here to do.

I walked away knowing that I am obligated to make an impact in this world and that my business is a vehicle by which to do that. Most importantly, I walked away proud to be me–the only me out of over 7 billion people on the planet.

If you are tired of not really “getting” who you are and what you were called to do; if you are fed up with suppressing your true self; if you are ready to first become visible to yourself and then invincible to the world–Impact is the book for you. It will probably be one of the best books you have ever read in your life!

The Interview

On Tuesday, January 24th, I had the privilege of interviewing Nancy D. Solomon. It was a wonderful experience. Click play to listen to the interview and possibly see yourself in an entirely different light.

Listen to internet radio with kelliegardner on Blog Talk Radio

Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.

This is a simple equation that even a young child could understand. Unfortunately, there are living, breathing, quite brilliant entrepreneurs who do not seem to realize that this concept applies to business.

I am sure you are not one of those kinds of entrepreneurs, but just in case, I wanted to share three concepts based upon the principle of seed time and harvest. 

  1. You must invest money to make money.

I know what you are thinking. Duh!!! I already knew that. But, really, humor me for a moment. When I decided that I wanted to be a personal brand strategist, I knew there were things I was going to have to do to attract my ideal clients. Those things included—

  • Getting a totally new website that popped. This feat alone required that I hire a website designer, a photographer, a graphic artist (logo, covers for products like books, eBooks, audio and video, and flyers to promote courses and events), a professional video production company, and a virtual assistant
  • Customizing my YouTube and Twitter Pages
  • Customizing my Fanpage and setting it up to be an income-generating site.
  • Hiring a coach/consultant
  • Enrolling in marketing training and small business workshops
  • Hiring an accountant and a lawyer
  • Getting my business registered
  • Paying for an auto-responder, a host for my site, a url (of course), and so much more.

There was just no way that I could embark on this business venture expecting not to spend money. (By the way, stay tuned for all of that to come in 2012.)

Likewise, there is absolutely no way that you are going to own a business and not fund it.

    2.  You must spend time to own time.

Anytime you decide to start a profitable business that is not just a hobby, you are bound to it like it is a brand new baby. You must put in hours honing your craft—reading about what you do; strategizing when and how you do it; learning more and more each day; networking with potential clients or colleagues; implementing what you learn; and measuring your progress.

It is only after committing to the process of being a business owner—putting that concentrated time in for at least 1-2 years, and sacrificing other things that you would ordinarily do, will you begin to really be able to totally control your schedule.

   3.  You must give to receive.

This is the thing I love the most about today’s marketing climate. Competition is so fierce that you can’t just be “wonderful you” and expect the raving fans to just come from out of thin air. You have to position yourself as a giver—giver of free information products, free samples, free training, free consultations—free, free, free. Then, and only then, will you pique the interests of your target market, build trust, and get them to pull out their wallets….repeatedly.

So, at the end of the day, in business, you do reap what you sow.

Seed time is a real time and the harvest surely cometh! :-)




Going forward, I wish you much success as you plant your seed, wisely.


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