Do you struggle on a regular basis with making sense of other people and their viewpoints?
Are you finding that your day-to-day interactions turn out to be “difficult?
Do you find yourself being frustrated by the actions of others to the point where it controls your life?
Poor communication is at the root of so many of our pains and problems, and our lack of knowledge about what to do can paralyze us.
The GREAT Talk on Books That Transform with Beverly Flaxington
Today, I had the wonderful privilege of talking to Beverly about The Five Secrets to Human Behavior. Here are the questions that I asked:
Bev, I look at the books you have written and the expanse of your career and I wonder what kinds of experiences did you have or observe that led you to discovering the five secrets to human behavior?
Bev, in chapter one, you come out playing hard ball. You do not sugarcoat the very first secret at all. You say, “….each of us walks around all day long unconsciously repeating the same mantra, ‘It’s All About Me.’” Is this true of every single human being, and if so, should we consciously try to combat that thought or not?
Secret #2 is Our Behavioral Styles Come between Us. How do we know what kind of behavior style we have and what should we do when we encounter someone with an “opposing” behavioral style?
Bev, Secret #3, Your Values Speak Louder than You Do, made me think about so many things like 1) the recent political campaigns, 2) the sometimes hypocritical displays within religious organizations, and even 3) the conflicts that lead to the demise of marriages & friendships. If someone listening is struggling with how to live in a world where others’ values are different than theirs, what would you advise them to do?
One of the most revelatory concepts in this book for me was expressed by Secret Number Four, Don’t Assume I Know What You Mean. In the chapter you ask, “How many times have you said to yourself, or another person, ‘He/She just doesn’t understand me?’ Well, understand this—they can’t, unless you are willing to take the time to help them. Their filters are clogged with their experiences, background, thoughts, feelings, etc. And unless they’ve read this book and understand the Five Secrets, they can’t put all of what matters to them to the side and understand you and what you are trying to communicate.”
Now, Bev, personally, I think this concept is so deep that we should just stay here for a while and let you teach us step-by-step how to be effective communicators in this area.
Bev, it is time for me to introduce you to Always Right Alma. Alma seems to believe that she is the best communicator in the world and that everyone else is the problem. She even has several t-shirts that say, “Don’t waste your brain cells, just follow my lead.” It is obvious that Alma needs to work with you on Secret #5, which is, “I’m okay. You are definitely NOT okay.” How will you help her change her mindset and transform her life?
Bev, this has truly been an eye-opening experience. If you share this much in just 40 minutes, I can imagine how beneficial working with you could be. What kind of person would you say that you enjoy working with the most?
Please share the products, programs or services that you offer your clients?
This Show Will Impact Your Life
Press play and see for yourself.
(I have listened to the show about four times, myself and probably more by the time you read this.) I know that you will get something from it. Listen and share your thoughts here or enjoy the archive on iTunes at www.booksthattransform.com.
I would LOVE to hear from you!